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What to do when someone you love is hurting?

how to help other when they are hurtingWhat do you do when someone you care about is hurting emotionally or physically?

In 30 years of marriage raising three children and having a huge extended family I have learned you can’t fix everyone (even if you want to).

How do I know this?

I tried for many years to take on others problems hoping I could take their pain away.  When children are small and get a scrape, it is a bit easier.  As we all grow and mature problems will continue to arise.  We need to equip each other so when the time of crisis occurs they/we have options to use.

For me, it is harder to watch a family member in distress than when I am struggling with an issue myself.  As a wife and mother, I feel I need to be strong no matter what, my family depends on me.

Healing takes time, but how can you help?

Time and some tender loving care heal most broken bones and cuts.  However, when it comes to emotional problems that can be tricky.  Sometimes other people don’t know how to express what is going on or they choose not to.  We have not walked in their shoes so truly we don’t know all the angles that need to be dealt with.

People feel their pain differently but because you are so close to them, you immediately feel them withdraw from you, the conversation, and their usual self.

Such actions or reactions can easily cause hurt for you also.  They may choose to not eat frequently, not do activities that they enjoy and maybe even sleep more as a means of escaping the true issue.  They have to want to help themselves, but how can you help?

  • Be open to listen
  • Be physically around
  • Express your love for them
  • Give them space
  • Pray/meditate
  • Do something for them
  • Prepare a favorite meal
  • Express gratitude
  • Be compassionate
  • Diffuse essential oils

We all have moments in life that are emotionally difficult to deal with.  No one I know is exempt.

How I deal will be different than you, and that’s okay…

Today I will make a pot of soup. There is something comforting in soup, simple and warming to the soul.  I will go out of my way to express my love and gratitude for all this person has done and continues to do.

Yes, I have prayed.  It could be to God, the universe, mother earth or whatever brings you spiritual comfort. Maybe spending some quiet time to reflect on what is happening.

When they arrive home I will make myself available to them.

Lastly, I will apply essential oils to myself for strength and diffuse for the whole house hold.   Tonight I will choose either Young Living Joy or Stress Away essential oil.

Most important of all I will open myself completely and share whatever they need.  There is nothing greater than the love I share with family, friends, and community.

Okay, one more thing I thought of I will go buy some peanut M&M even though I personally believe them to be toxic.  Sometimes to get our emotional balance, the digestive system will have to take a back seat.  Of course, I will bottle some kombucha so it will be cold to go with those M&M’s… my person sure loves M&M’s 🙂

In short, we need to be there for one another.

What about you? Please share!

How do you support yourself or others in needs?  Please share it might be the key that someone else needs.

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